When I first started out, I had 2 runways and followed some of the holding points based on what I saw others doing. The ATC does have some method to the madness and I tried multiple things but what seemed to work for me is this…
When an airplane leaves the gate for a departure runway, it seems to go toward a ‘runway ahead’ that is adjacent a runway and faces outward, as a guide to show the airplane where to go. Likewise, when on the arrivals runway, a ‘runway ahead’ that leads the airplane off the runway as a guide is placed. I find this keeps airplanes from taxing on the runways themselves, particularly for arrivals.
So while it’s cute to have these little thingy’s all over the place, the reality is, if there is something in the way of the airplane, it will stop, etc… and the more of these thingy’s you have, the more confused the airplanes seem to get… in my experience.
I now have 2 runways on each side of the airport. Currently, my outside runways are for departures, the airplanes are led to … and my arrivals are my inside runways which lead them to taxi to the concourse. The only issue I have is that sometimes, the airplanes land on the opposite side of the concourse they will need to access. I have had to put 1 hour between flights to allow for taxi time and HEAVILY monitor GE flights (I usually only turn them on from about 5 PM untl 9 AM; they cause minimal damage and park overnight to rake in cash).
BUT, like you, it seems there must be an order or priority at least given to either arrivals or departures and during peak times, there is a lot of waiting around for aircraft to maneuver. Again, it is quite realistic, but very frustrating.